The internet is a scary place, especially the ‘comments’ section of any YouTube video. The internet can also be magical. Yahoo Answers is a safe haven in a barbed wire jungle.
People need answers. My Dad used to answer all of my questions but, my Dad isn’t with us anymore. He’s in Florida. I need to answers these questions myself. Occasionally, I log onto Yahoo Answers and help America and the other countries. Please use this information with care.
Again, these are real questions from Yahoo Answers.
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Dysthymin
Should I follow my dream?
Dear Dysthymin, Follow it until it gets hard. Then, give up because, seriously, who has the time?
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Julia
Don’t you hate it when you burp soda out of your nose?
Dear Julia, I kind of like it. Let’s be Facebook friends.
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Tiger Woods
Will The Bolsheviks Rise Again?
Dear Tiger, Why? So you can have sex with them??!!!
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Dorian
How to stop being in love with someone?
Dear Dorian, Marry them.
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Breanna
How do i cook my spaghettis?
Dear Breanna, Cook them shits tight.
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Y.M.M.
What’s a good site to download free music?
Dear Y.M.M., Yeah right, like I’m falling for that one. Nice try, government stoolie.
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George TFPGH
Do you eat differently when nobody’s looking?
Dear George, When no one is looking, I pretend like my food is Cobra and my mouth is the Joes.
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waffle
What should I do if a girl smiles at me when I’m walking down the street?
Dear Waffle, If she’s wearing a red dress, run. She’s about to turn into an agent. If not, jump on top of her and never let her leave.
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Scott
Where can I get a job in Sydney?
Dear Scott, I know they have a nice opera house. Start there.
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Qosimo
How can I get my parents to listen to me?
Dear Qosimo, Burn everything.
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Ashley
What it means when guy say he still have a special place in his heart for you?
Dear Ashley, It means that the girl he dumped you for is annoying and he wants to keep his options open.
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Lord THand
What’s the worst thing that ever happened?
Dear Lord THand, It’s a toss-up between ‘St. Elmo’s Fire’ and the Jaguars uniforms.
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Jorge
My friends don’t like me anymore?
Dear Jorge, That’s not even a question. I can’t blame them.
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Dotdotdo…
ADHD- How do I start studying?
Dear Dotdotdot, It’s raining again.
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Sophie Brown
What is the song when they are at the party?
Dear Sophie Brown, I think you’re thinking of the Beastie Boys… or Lionel Richie. Either way, you’re covered.
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I hope this helps.
Mr. Bauch, I must disagree with your advice on question #1, “Should I follow my dream?”
Following your dreams can be such a waste of time and a pain in the butt. I would much rather find out where my dreams are going and hook up with them later.
Joke stolen from a comedian who died way too young.