Updated Bachelor Fantasy League Standings

Greg Bauch is a consumer of bad television.

Keep up with your updated Bachelor League Fantasy Standings!

We have one more terrible week to go on our terrible program. At this point, it’s impossible to gain ground if you don’t have Jo Jo or 4th Lauren on your team.

Also, 18 people are tied for first place. That means 18 people miraculously picked the final three remaining contestants. I’m not calling you all cheaters, but I can’t think of a better way to end this sentence. I guess it’s my fault for running a Bachelor Fantasy League.

We’ll need tie-breakers because we can’t have 18 winners. If you are one of the 18 teams with 333 Fantasy points, please email me (greg at gregbcomedy.com) your guess as to the number of times Ben says “love” in the finale. The closest to the actual number will win the league. Good luck, cheaters!

If you forgot your team, click here for rosters!

Bachelor Fantasy Standings:

Bachelor Fantasy Scoring:

• Each rose received – 5 points
• Kissing/ Making out with the Bachelor/ Bachelorette – 1 point
• Using the word ‘connection’ – 1 point
• Standing on a balcony or pier and staring off in the distance to think – 1 point
• Pretending that you’re happy – 1 point
• Hitting someone with an open or closed fist – 5 points
• Doing something really embarrassing – 5 points
• Riding a horse/elephant/camel – 5 points
• Being the one everyone hates – 5 points
• Announcing that you’re “falling” for Ben – 10 points
• Drinking too much – 10 points (my discretion)
• Reading a poem – 10 points
• Crying – 10 points
• Helicopter ride – 10 points
• Having sex with a ‘Bachelor’ production crew member – 10 points
• Climbing up or down a cliff/ building/cave or bungee jumping from a structure – 10 points
• Attending a private concert by ABC promoted recording artist – 10 points
• One-on-one Chris Harrison interview – 10 points
• Sneaking away in the night to visit the Bachelor/ Bachelorette – 10 points
• Yelling at someone while pointing in their face – 10 points
• Computer software sexual innuendo references – 10 points
• Crying so hard you produce snot bubbles – 15 points
• Refusing a Chris Harrison fantasy suite invitation – 20 points
• Suffering an injury that requires a Bachelor EMT or ambulance – 20 points
• Mentioning how much your deceased parent(s) would want you to win the Bachelor – 20 points (once    per season)
• Abandoning your child to join a Reality TV dating show – 20 points (once per season)
• Warning the Bachelor/ Bachelorette that a contestant may be there for the wrong reasons – 20 points (once per season)
• Being there for the wrong reasons – 21 points (once per season)
• Voluntarily leaving the show – 25 points
• Winning the show – 35 points

My judgment will be final in all scoring and decision making. I reserve the right to drink a bunch of alcohol (perhaps from Buffalo’s Beer Store, Consumer’s Beverages!) and flee the country. This is bigger than the Super Bowl. Sports quota filled.