It’s the ‘Men Tell All’ episode of ‘the Bachelorette’. This recap will not be my standard 27,000 words because nothing will happen. For 2 hours, nothing will happen, nothing will…
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One time in high school, I had too much to drink and accidentally ripped my arm open on a park bench. I was bleeding pretty bad, but I couldn’t go…
You guys have spent the whole day walking around without even realizing that the world was going to end tonight. It’s hometown date week. Rachel Lindsay visits the hometowns of…
ABC gave us a week off for America’s birthday. It really made that whole Revolutionary War thing worthwhile. And, much like the British army after a failed evacuation in Yorktown,…
Kenny’s eye is bleeding, you guys! Wait. Crap. I’m supposed to write these as if you’ve never read a Bachelorette recap before. Okay. Rachel Lindsay started dating 30 men. All…
I’ve been shot by BB guns, folded into couch beds and dunked in toilets, but never has anyone treated me as cruelly as ABC is treating me this week. Back-to-back…
I hope you’re thirsty for death, because that’s what ABC has promised us tonight. Death. Two weeks ago, words were shouted from mouths in the interest of real keeping. Things…
I got home from work today and for 4 wonderful hours I forgot that ‘The Bachelorette’ was on tonight. It was a blissful existence. My wife and I talked about…
ABC doesn’t take holidays off. They went ahead with a 2-hour episode of their terrible game show. You can’t take time off when the goal is to find love for…
It’s a brand new season and Rachel Lindsay, the Bachelorette, is black. ABC is super excited because they’ve never had anything but stupid white people as the lead star of…