As we awaited today’s semifinal hockey game between the US and Canada, we were trying to work ourselves into a lather to “do battle” with a nation that we generally like.
While we’re watching the game, let’s judge their worth.
Check out some things that are distinctly Canadian. Our grades are at the bottom of the post. Add yours and let’s see what we really think of our neighbors to the north.
CANADIAN BACON
That’s not bacon.
BEER
You’re OK with us in this department, Canada.
BLACKBERRY
We felt better about this during the Nagano games.
DON CHERRY
You, sir, are a national treasure.
FLAG
Best in the world? It’s up there.
HEALTH CARE
Well played.
ICE FISHING
Umm.
MILK
No.
MONEY
It’s difficult to take you seriously with this stuff.
POPULATION
The blue and green represent people. The white represents no people. Go ahead and stretch out your legs.
RELISH
That’s way too green… like WAY too green.
SPELLING
Superfluous use of the letter U and referring to Z as “zed” add some extra flavour to the English language.
SQUIRRELS
Squirrels are not supposed to look like that.
STRIP CLUBS
Alcohol flows with full nudity.
SYRUP
Maple syrup in a bottle shaped like a maple leaf… seems pretty authentic.
Molson and Labatt are just the Miller and Budweiser of the North. Both are fine enough for high-volume drinking, but they also have the same muddy after-effects.